Mes Belles Lettres

Dear Sunshine, I had a relationship once with a guy who would show up whenever he felt like it (usually I think because he was bored). His visits would leave me dizzy and giddy with the delight of being in his intoxicating presence. Each time he was around I was hopeful he would stay. Then he would disappear on me, usually for about a month at a time, and I was left confused and heartbroken, and wondering what it was I could do to fix the situation and get him to stay and commit. It was a bad relationship sunshine. It ended badly, and very painfully, and I was a complete mess for a long time because of it, and lets face it, I'm still a little screwy. I vowed to never put myself through such horror again. Sunshine, I fear my relationship with you has reached that point. I don't know what happened. Did I not appreciate you enough? I know I used to enjoy the occasional cloudy day or bout of rain, and maybe that hurt you. Has this been a long time coming? Sometimes I thou...

Today is a very special day. No. Not because people wear green and drunkenly kiss complete strangers. That is what makes this day disturbing. No. It's not because the sun is shining and it's a balmy 43 degrees outside (I'm not even wearing a coat right now!![That does make this day awesome]) No, that is not why today is very special. Today is my blog's birthday. On this day, five years ago, I wrote my very first blog post on this here blog. Oh man. That paragraph... now somewhat unreadable with my current background... Sorry about that. Anyway... Five years ago... Aw, I'm so cute! I was twenty I was living in Provo. I still had my natural blond hair color. I was pursuing my undergraduate degree in History. I was excited about going to Hawaii at the end of April I started my first three blog posts with the word so, which bothered me a lot when I realized that. It still does. I had no idea what I should blog about ever. I had just barely disco...

Did you know that I am a Mormon? Well I am. In fact, look at the side bar there. See that button that says, "I'm a Mormon." ? Well it's true. That button is not lying. In fact, if you click on it, it will take you to a magic portal where you can learn all about Mormons, starting with ME! I've decided to start a new series on this little blog of mine. You see once a month in church, usually the first Sunday, we have what is called fast and testimony meeting. Fasting is when you choose to skip two meals, so for about 24 hours you go without food or water. If you've never read the Bible I will tell you, one time Jesus did that for 40 days in a row. That is a long time. Well on the Sunday that we do this, during the first hour of church (I go to church for three hours, in case you didn't know) instead of having assigned speakers get up and talk (we don't have a preacher that preaches) anyone can get up and bear their testimony, or in other words, share ...

You know when you lose feeling in a limb; typically one would say, " my [insert limb here] has fallen asleep." Well I've decided that phrase is a euphemism. Think about it. You have cut off the flow of blood to that limb, as though you have stopped your heart from beating. What has happened is attempted limb manslaughter (not murder, since I think usually there is no malice aforethought.) Well for some reason, this year I have experienced an inordinate amount of attempted arm manslaughter in the middle of the night. I end up falling asleep in a weird position, which ends up with my body cutting off blood flow to one or both of my arms. This happened last night. I forced myself to sit up so my arms could hang at my side, allowing blood to rush into my arms. Have you ever noticed your arm feels swollen during the attempted manslaughter? Like it is about ten times larger than its normal size? I remember waking up one night a few years ago and realizing that I had engaged...