How my Heart Has Longed for You

I can still remember when I graduated from law school. It was still technically finals week, but all my finals were done. It was a Sunday, I was at church, looking forward to my parents and youngest brother coming out to Vermont for my graduation. People at church were congratulating me on finishing this really ridiculously difficult, expensive, and time consuming thing that I had been working on for the last three years. However,there was a moment when someone said to me, "that's great, but it's nothing compared to being married and having a family. Just wait until you have kids."

In that moment I had no words, I wished that he would have just walked up to me and stabbed me in the heart instead. I think we've all endured some form of this torture. "Why aren't you married?" "Why don't you have kids?" "What aren't you doing/having/being (insert someone else's opinion of what makes your life valuable here)?" I've re…

What can I say to you now?

I think about blogging on this blog a lot. Blogging just to write seems to be a lost art form. It's all Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram. People want the short and sweet and only look at blogs for recipes and tutorials.

So maybe I'm selfish and want to just write this for me. Prior to my mission this blog really became like my journal. I was really bad at journaling, but I could write on this blog easily, and I did so often. Maybe it's pride, believing that there are people out there that want to hear what I have to say.

I mean, a lot of people aren't reading it anyway, so I guess in the end it is still mostly just for me. There is so much happening in my life right now and I don't want to forget it. I don't want to forget how I feel about it, I don't want to miss the chance to write down my feelings so I can come back later and reflect on it. I should get this blog printed as a hard copy journal and keep it for my future generations to read. Maybe I …

When Life Gives You Lemons

I've been ruminating on this post for some time now. I want to give it the time and attention it deserves. I also don't want people to get bored reading it, or feel lectured.

I'll do my best to not fail at those things. Forgive me if I fail. Please read the whole thing!

In this social network age we live in, it is easier to stay in touch with people, and also hear about their really hard trials. We all get hard trials in life, sometimes people feel like sharing parts or all of those trials on social network. A recurring theme I see from people reaching out to the one in the midst of the storm is to say, "God gave you this trial because He knows you can handle it."

We really need to stop imagining God as someone who sits around all day imagining up horrible thing for us to endure. That is untrue and unfair, and diminishes who God is, and what He wants for us.

To understand the way life really works you need to ask yourself three questions:

1. Where did I come from…

Late Night Musings: On Love

I have been married a grand total of 7 and a half months. Now that I am obviously an expert on the subject I thought I would share some of my late night musings with you. 
It is amazing to me all of the random little things I will realize that I love about my husband. For example, the other night after he got out of the shower he was shaving and I was watching him shave and thinking about how I love that he has facial hair.
I don't mean in a purely physical, I am attracted to guys with facial hair kind of way, although I always have been a fan of the five o clock shadow, and my husband does look good with it.
We just moved and our house is a mess and things are everywhere and he hadn't shaved in a week and a half because he couldn't find his razors. That facial hair was life happening. He couldn't shave easily because we were moving into a new house. Our home, that we are spending the rest of our lives in (because I seriously never want to go through the moving proc…


Do you ever find yourself in those quiet moments of deepest thinking, you know, when you can't fall asleep at night or when you're in the shower, feeling like you should be writing these thoughts down and sharing them with people? These are the thoughts to end world hunger and cure all illness after all. Well I have. When it happens I think, I should dust off the old blog and start writing again.

In the light of day, fully dressed with clean hair, it's hard to remember all of those brilliant thoughts that I should be sharing.

I miss this blog though. I blog with my mom and sisters now, at this site. It's so much fun. I love it! Sometimes I miss having a place all of my own. This is my little corner of the universe where all my thoughts can spill out, and anyone with the Internet and sufficient boredom can read them.

I don't know if I want a meandering blog. People like structure. They like purpose and direction. I want to give the people what they want.

Many things…

I Don't Want to Sit Across the Table From You Wishing I Could Run

No, this blog post is not going to get into the fact that Cake songs currently seem to describe my life. Although they do.

Ever since the Supreme Court ruling on Obergefell v. Hodges came out last week the internet has been abuzz with debates and anger, and I have been called "such a libertarian" "so Mormon" at work more times than one. I don't want this post to be a rehash of everything that has already been said on the subject, there are plenty of other bloggers out there telling you what is right or wrong with the ruling according to them. I do, however, feel compelled to give you a history lesson. If you majored in history like I did, you just got excited. If you didn't, please read this anyway. Then you can tell me I am such a libertarian and so Mormon! It's fun!

I want to start by going back into some ancient American history. In the Book of Mormon we read about a king named Mosiah who was nearing the end of his life on this earth. He had four son…

Another Suitcase in Another Hall: So What Happens Now?

It is the last day of February, and I promised I would blog at least once a month. I have a blog post I am working on, but it isn't quite ready yet. I think I probably care too much about it, mais bon. That is how I roll.

I have been crazy busy volunteering with Community Legal Services, teaching piano lessons, enjoying new babies in the family, and very anxiously waiting to hear back on a few job prospects. I hate not having a plan. I need a plan. If I have a plan and the plan changes that is okay, but I need a plan. That is probably a blog post for another day.

Tonight I thought I would write about something that has been on my mind lately for so many different reasons. I am going to start with this quote from Gerald N. Lund from a conference talk he gave in April 2008.

The heart is a tender place. It is sensitive to many influences, both positive and negative. It can be hurt by others. It can be deadened by sin. It can be softened by love. Early in our lives,we learn to guard o…