Sometimes I Wonder if We're Idling or Making Useless Progress

Dear Sunshine,

I had a relationship once with a guy who would show up whenever he felt like it (usually I think because he was bored). His visits would leave me dizzy and giddy with the delight of being in his intoxicating presence. Each time he was around I was hopeful he would stay. Then he would disappear on me, usually for about a month at a time, and I was left confused and heartbroken, and wondering what it was I could do to fix the situation and get him to stay and commit.

It was a bad relationship sunshine. It ended badly, and very painfully, and I was a complete mess for a long time because of it, and lets face it, I'm still a little screwy. I vowed to never put myself through such horror again.

Sunshine, I fear my relationship with you has reached that point.

I don't know what happened. Did I not appreciate you enough? I know I used to enjoy the occasional cloudy day or bout of rain, and maybe that hurt you. Has this been a long time coming?

Sometimes I thought you were socially awkward. You can make things uncomfortable, and I felt like I needed some space because you were always in my bubble. I've never wanted you completely out of my life though. I need you. You make me happy, you are significantly important to me. If my attitude in times past has left you stormy and cold towards me I'm deeply sorry.

I want us to work on our relationship, because I love you and I miss you. Please don't disappear on me after a day, or tease me with a few days of making me believe you're sticking around this time. It hurts too much sunshine. It hurts too much.

I know we can make this better if only you would give me a chance.