SMF: Single Mormon Female

(c) Alisa Goodwin Snell
Image from
A funny thing happens when you're a Mormon girl and you hit about, oh 23. Suddenly people become very concerned that you're going to die alone.

See, us Mormons, we're all about families. Moms and Dads getting married and having babies and raising those babies in happy healthy homes. It is an ideal situation, homes full of children that are taught to eat vegetables, that spend time playing catch with dad, that go to the park with mom. Parents that love each other and aren't afraid to show it and still have date night when their kids are teenagers. Everyone is happy together because they're an eternal family, they love each other and they show it. Very nice. I want that. I doubt there is anyone that doesn't want that. I think even the reality of family, sometimes kids throw tantrums and parents argue, sounds nice when compared to endless alone-ness. So don't get me wrong, I very much want to get married and have my own family.

The thing is that very often there is a disconnect between what is taught, and how the culture acts. So suddenly, us poor Single Mormon Females that have reached the decrepit age of 23 or older are in need of serious help. I mean have you seen me lately? I'm 26!!! There is no possible way I could get married on my own now. It's too late, if someone doesn't intervene I may end up single all my life and never understand that being a mother is important, that having a husband is great! I might end up like Sheri Dew, or worse, Barbara Thompson!

Surely I exaggerate. I doubt anyone would be appalled if I turned out like those two great women who have been great leaders in my church. Honestly though, when people start flinging men at you it can start to feel that way.

I know that I have an image in my mind of the kind of guy I want to marry. He will be Zachary Levi, but also Mormon. Perfecto. Now of course, there is a 99.999999999% chance that that will not happen. I'm okay with that. You know, sixes looking for tens and all that. However, there are certain things I want out of my future husband that I'm not willing to give up. So please multitude of well meaning concerned people that think I'm going to die alone, I'm only 26. So before you begin desperately shoving single men at me that are more than likely NOT going to turn out to be my one and only I want you to ask yourself one question, how well do you know me? The answer to that question is probably, not very well. Thus, unless you're friends with Zachary Levi, maybe you could give me a few more years before you start lamenting my shriveled up lonely existence and decide I should really take anything that is still alive and male.


Brian & Kyla said…
Oh Lindsey. I actually have this brother that I wanted to set you up with. He just got from his mission, he's 21, working on his bachelor's degree... J/K!
trentathon said…
chuckle, chuckle
Anonymous said…
Tell me What happened! Love Mom
Kristin Lowe said…
.000000001%--that's solid odds. Hold out for Mormon ZL.
Renny said…
In my heart of hearts I always will. I imagine that I will run into him in some coffee shop and he will be instantly smitten with me because I'll be playing it cool and not acting like some ridiculously gushing fan girl.
Ande Payne said…
Yes. Hold fast. I'm a big fan of know, since I got married at 22, but still, you know what I mean. I think lots of girls need to read this blog. You're just so inspiring! :)

*Also, I'd put you at a 10 every day. Not that I've ever seen you more than like 3 days in my life, but still. I saw you with helmet hair.
adrian said…
If you keep that picture of you with the guitar, you´ll be married in no time haha

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