Always Mindful of Thanksgiving

I wasn't going to blog today, or really probably for another few weeks, and this post will be brief but I just wanted to tell you something.

I have been so overwhelmed with school this semester. When I took my schedule to my counselor last year she didn't bother to inform me that taking two seminar classes with AWR length papers during the same semester that I am taking Appellate was probably the worst decision anyone could ever make.

Not a single word.

In fact, she told me me schedule looked great.

So I have been killing myself all semester and feeling like I'm not doing enough and I have no clue where my grades are going to end up.

I received feedback on both of my papers this week and I was feeling this overwhelming sense of, "I am not going to have enough time to get all of this done. My papers are going to be terrible and I'm going to fail."

I was really upset. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow and I've been so excited because I've wanted to go to New York SO BAD for so long that it hurt to think about it, and it was FINALLY happening, and I've felt like a deserve a break.

All I could think about today just before international law was all the time I could spend in the library working on my papers if I didn't go, and I was feeling really really discouraged. I was however, trying to put on a good front and not have an emotional breakdown in class, and I felt like I was doing a pretty good job.

The girl that sits next to me came in and sat down and said hi and then immediately asked me what was wrong. Now this girl and I are not super close, but I would venture to say she was the first law school friend I made last year, and really probably the only one I made except for the two guys that are also in the ward.

I told her I was just feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment and she said, "is this about your papers? They're due soon right?" I told her yes, and I had just had meetings with my professors where I was told about all the revisions I should make.

"It's just going to be a lot of work. Once finals get here I'll be a lot less stressed, but until then, it's just really crazy." I was doing a really good job at keeping myself calm and my tone conversational, but I don't think I can convey to you how discouraged and worn out I was feeling at this particular moment.

At the end of class she started talking to me about the semester and how classes were going and thinking back to last year this time, and then she just said, "I'll say a prayer for you that everything will get done and work out."

I instantly felt better. I thanked her and told her that meant a lot to me and as I left the class I just reminded myself, " The Lord puts everyone you know in your life for a reason."

I still feel much better. I'm once again excited for New York and glad I won't be spending the break in the library. Thank goodness for kind friends and prayers.


Regan said…
You'll do splendidly. You have the prayers of lots of people. Plus, you're awesome. Enjoy New York... You only live once, you know. :-)
dances alone said…
oh lindser! I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and wanting to talk to you, and then feeling like you're probably always busy with school, but hoping it wasn't will do wonderful and it will be over so soon, and i'm glad you're going to new york and I hope you have the time of your life. and again, that you tell me all abou it afterward...(even if its a couple weeks after when schools over ;)
Docface said…
I hope New York was wonderful. I am praying for you as well, always. I love you!

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