Acceptance

Okay, here are the things I want to say to you:


1. I had an awesome summer and I took a lot of pictures. You can check them out here.


2. I really like driving by myself along the interstate. Stella, Henry, and I had a lot of bonding time. We're all very close now.


3. I'm really grateful I have a good car that never broke down once. I pray she remains that way.


4. I won't tell you who I wished was sitting next to me sometimes while I was driving because it is completely ridiculous. I will tell you the conversation I imagined us having in my head. I would tell him I don't like driving at night, it stresses me out. Then he'd laugh at me and make some comment about how that is because I'm a girl and crazy. Then I'd say yes I AM a girl and I AM crazy and I don't like driving at night. Then he'd laugh again and shake his head. Then he'd offer to drive, but he'd say it like this, "I can drive if you want" as though it's a slight inconvenience for him, although he wouldn't really mean it that way. We'd be on the maze of freeways around St. Louis so there wouldn't really be a good place to get off so I'd tell him no that it was okay, and in my mind I'd just be thinking I just feel better with him there. Then as we cross the river I'd tell him something I learned about rivers and state lines last year in Civ. Pro. and he'd be engrossed in something on his phone and say, "oh cool," but he'd just be thinking about what a law school nerd I am, he would kind of glance over at me and make a face so I would know it too.


This is similar to the conversation where I would tell him that I don't like driving in tunnels even more than I don't like driving next to semis. He'd look at me with that, " you're crazy" look, and ask why. I'd tell him I have some disease involving Murphy's Law and he would laugh his real laugh. The one where he laughs right out loud and I'd be filled with effervescent bubbles at the sound of it. This would then make him think of some TV show he watches, and then he'd tell me about it and I'd listen and think about how much I like his voice, and how I love that he is a science fiction nerd.


Then I come back to reality and get a little sad and wish that life were different. Of course, if life were different, I wouldn't be driving to Vermont. Then I'd remember that I don't wish that anymore. Then I'd be a little angry.  Then I'd listen to Relient K and feel better. These road trips this summer were like my therapy.


5. I really love the western side of the country. I miss it so very much. It's like a piece of me remains behind when I leave.


6. My family is pretty much better than every other family in the world.


7. Vermont really is a beautiful place.


8. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get to go to New York City, and I want to so badly it kind of hurts.


9. I bought my books yesterday. Ouch.


10. My blog has surpassed 200 posts, I didn't even realize that until yesterday. Another milestone fades quietly into the night.


11. 30 Seconds to Mars makes for some excellent road trip music. So does the Format. So does Anberlin. So does Electric Light Orchestra. So does mae.


I think that is all. Sorry number four was so lengthy and kind of depressing. Was that too much information? Probably. I'm leaving it all up though.

Comments

dances alone said…
yeah 200 posts! yeah law school! i'm glad your car didn't break down, mine was not so kind to me :(
oh and i'm glad i'm not the only one that has those kind of conversations, though this makes me sad. and angry. and excited for the future
Anonymous said…
Also, your feelings about New York are how I am feeling about Disneyland. It makes me really sad that Jacob has not ever been there. I love you. Mom
Ruth said…
entertaining! <3 so glad you had a nice summer L! Looking forward to your next year in law school. ;-)

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