Fashion is Spinach

I really desperately needed to do laundry this week. So I went shopping.
I really, truly, do not understand this trend of, "please, make me look pregnant." I stood in the dressing room staring at myself in one shirt, and I thought it was the most ridiculous looking thing I had ever seen. Granted, I probably should have tried it on in a smaller size, but as that thing billowed and swirled around me I just thought,
"You know this look will never EVER work!" And let me tell you why.
Some day I intend to be a mother. When I am pregnant I plan on wearing the cutest maternity clothes stores have to offer. I, like so many of my friends who have been pregnant or are now, will glow with that happy excitement that comes with being pregnant and looking forward to being a mom. When a woman is pregnant she has a completely different look about her.
Right now though, I am single. I'm not even in a serious relationship with the possibility of marriage, I'm not even really sure if I can ever trust a man again. (Don't worry, I can... I think.) Anyway, I am NOT going to be a mother any time within the next nine months. So, do you know what happens when you put on clothes that give the effect of making you look pregnant when you're not pregnant? You look fat.
Yep. You aren't glowing. You don't have a cute little baby bump. People don't ask you when you're due or if you know what you're having. You aren't also shopping for baby clothes and decorating a nursery. You aren't picking out baby names. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE A MOTHER. You just look fat.
I don't understand this trend at all.

Comments

Todd said…
You can trust me most of the time.
6:14 PM
dances alone said…
oh linsdey. you are hilarious. it is a strange trend, and i guess they don't understand the critical importance of that motherly glow
8:36 AM
Unknown said…
The motherly glow is such an important element. Without it you aren't a cute little pregnant lady.
Todd, I wish you weren't a liar!
9:37 AM
kristinanne said…
Someone had to say it! Thanks for saying it so well!
10:54 AM
alirara said…
yeah but they think it hides their fatness...so they are wrong. Actually it accentuates it. Sad day for the fat people world
4:55 PM
Brian & Kyla said…
Very true Lindsey. However, it sure gives those women who are pregnant something to wear when our regular clothes are getting tight and maternity clothes are too big :)Hope you're doing great! Love ya!
11:17 AM
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