Note to Self

You know how sometimes as a kid you write a letter to yourself that you're supposed to read ten years later or whatever? Well, I think today, I'm going to write my 14 year old self back.

Dear Lindsey,
Hey how is it going? Happy Birthday! The big 1-4! Enjoy the rest of eighth grade! Thanks for the letter, I enjoyed it, I'm glad you say things like, "when life gives you lemons, make brownies." That is good stuff.

I'm just remembering what life was like ten years ago, and I'd like to give you some advice if I could. High school is rough, but you're going to make it through. It really is okay that you'll end up spending most of your weekends watching "What Not to Wear" with your mom. Don't worry, once you get to college you'll make real friends. Just try to remember that most of the things you worry about in high school just really don't matter, and about five minutes after high school ends you're going to forget all about it because you'll be so ready to move on, so keep some perspective.

You are much better than you think you are, and you really ought to tell yourself that more often. You are a good person, stop worrying so much that you aren't, and believe people when they say it. Yes, keep trying to remain a good person, but don't doubt that you already are.

In the next ten years you're going to make a lot of mistakes, but you're also going to have a lot of fun. You're going to learn a lot about yourself. There will be hard times, and there will be great times, and you are going to get through all of it quite beautifully really, even though most of the time you are seriously going to doubt that you are.

I know you have this plan in your head for how life is going to turn out, you have it all mapped out exactly. Pretty much none of that is going to happen. Its okay though, keep hoping, keep planning, and keep dreaming because your life up to this point is going to turn out pretty great.

Never ever give up on the things you want. Don't be afraid to go for your dreams, and don't be afraid to go out and do the things you really want to do. It really won't be so terrible, even if you don't do well. When you do really go for the things you want you get great experiences that you'll never forget. When you don't doubt, the Lord takes care of you, and He always knows what He is doing, so you're in good hands.

Laugh things off more, put things in their perspective. There aren't many things I'd ask you to do too terribly differently, because you learn from everything. Except maybe that night that will come one August where you're going to look yourself in the mirror and realize something. Just tell him, don't hesitate, and don't doubt, because it is never ever a bad thing to tell someone you love them, so just do it. Besides that, I just want you to be surprised and figure it out for yourself.

You always believe the best in people, keep doing that. You sometimes worry that you love people too much, but that is silly insecurity talking, don't worry about it. People need to be loved. You usually doubt your capabilities and intelligence, but don't, you can do things if you really try. You really really hate being wrong, but just remember that when you are it takes a great person with great courage to admit it. You absolutely cannot run away from your problems, ever. You'll just end up spending a month in Sacramento with a stomach ache believing that it'll get better, and then just go back and face what you ran away from anyway. So face it head on, and don't worry about it. I won't tell you how it turns out, but, you are going to be okay.

I just want you to know that I'm glad to be you. I really am. There have been times when that hasn't been the case. I don't know why it took us so long to realize this and really believe it, but we are a daughter of God, and thus we are pretty dang awesome. Remember that always always always. Here now, ten years later, if you could get a glimpse into who you turn into, I hope that you would be proud to be me. Things are not perfect, but I promise you I will keep trying to get better. Life is very good, and I wouldn't want to trade you for anyone else.

Stay positive, and keep making those lemon brownies!



alirara said…
you should have told yourself to be nicer to Alicia. It could have saved the family much stress. Oh well.
Renny said…
Nah, that would have ruined all my fun :)
Ande Payne said…
Aw I loved that blog. I loved that you used "Daughter of God" "thus" and "pretty dang awesome" all in the same thought.
dances alone said…
Somehow I didn't remember that you did this too. I love it! Thanks for your advice-to us as well as to you. You are an amazing person and I'm glad you can see that. yeah letters!
Mom said…
You are awesome. I will have Madalynn read this, maybe it will help her, even though you are both different people, it has good thoughts for everyone. I love you so much. (What Not To Wear is still a great show.)

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