I Hear You Singing To Me

This weekend reiterated to me that the thing I need and wish for most right now is my own Walden Pond experience. My good friend Tyler invited me to go with him and a few other people up to his parent's cabin in Idaho for the weekend. It was a weekend filled with snowmobiling, games, movies, music, food, and laughter, so much nonstop laughter. It was like I took a moment to step outside the world I know into a place where I could do things that would allow me to think and write about things I need to ponder.
For the past few months I have been thinking that what I would really love to do before I head back to the school scene in the fall is take a few months to be somewhere by myself with nothing but my scriptures, a pen, some paper, a guitar, and Henry, and I guess an ipod dock so he won't die on me (and that is where the trouble comes in, but I need Henr
y with me, seriously. I cannot live sans-il.) I could just spend the time writing the thousands of songs in my head until everything that I can't sort out spills out of my thoughts and I can refocus on something new. Like creating a system for getting to know people, because my current one is pretty faulty.
I also realized that I find it safer to express a lot of my real thoughts here in this blog than it is in real life. That is until I start picturing people reading it. I can't tell you how many paragraphs I have deleted throughout the course of this blog. I think I need to work on trusting people so I can feel safe in my relationships with others. That's another thing I could do in my Walden Pond. Learn to trust.
My Walden Pond could, perhaps, look like this.

On a final note, I have to admit to you that I think my posting for the next while will be spotty at best, as I am still in the final stages of blogger burnout. Sometimes I just feel like I don't know how to say anything I want to anymore.


dances alone said…
I'm so delighted you did post this though. And that you commented on mine, because honestly, I don't feel complete until I read a Renny comment. I thought you were sort of burnt out, so I didn't expect you to have posted, but I crossed my fingers and hoped, and there was a new post from you.
I'm glad you had a walden moment. I hope you have many more.
Ande Payne said…
I love this post. In fact I was just thinking about your conversation with Bentley about Walden Pond. I support you in finding a Walden Pond.

Also it saddens me you are on a blogging burn out. I hope that goes away soon!
Ruth said…
A wish for your Walden Experience to happen. I love the way you express yourself. I also think your new layout is great! So creative.
Keep blogging!
SushiiGirl said…
A Walden Pond experience. You said it perfectly. No deleting anymore please.

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