Do You Find it Odd, That You Are Not as Strong As You Once Thought

Yesterday was a weird day. I don't really know what is up with me lately. As the Academy is... says I'm, "always up or down, never down and out." I don't know why graduating has to be so stressful. I don't know why I just want one thing to happen so much, and it isn't, so I have to pick something else, and settling on something is very unsettling. This is one of those trial periods that tests your faith, and I guess I start feeling like I'm not doing a very good job, and then that makes me react in unpleasant ways.
So, here is my dilemma. I graduate in December, and thusfar, have no definite plan for a job or something afterwards. I thought, I will at least stay home until I take the LSAT again, then maybe I'll hear back about an internship and move there. However, I don't think I should stay home. I know, that sounds ridiculous right? Whats wrong with home? Lots of my family is there, the rent is free, the food is free, and I don't really have a lot of money to move somewhere else and live, especially since everywhere outside of Provo is a good deal more expensive. Plus Tyler is coming home in March, so I could stay til he gets back and see him. So staying home and saving up money is the most logical solution right? So why do I keep feeling like that is not what I should do? Maybe I am supposed to steal Alicia's idea and become a hobo. They do travel a lot.
Maybe a solution will present itself before December and I'll be like, oooh... thats why! That, however, has not happened yet, and so I am left here pondering. I am sending my resume out to a few more places this week. And if anyone has heard of my having any rich relatives that are about to die soon and want to leave me large sums of money in their will, let me know.
I have made a resolution however that today will be a better day no matter what. I mean, Interlibrary loan has finally come through for me on something, so progress on my paper is moving forward, tomorrow is the weekend, and I get paid, and Alicia and I are going to go see HP this weekend, and Gil and I are going to hang out no matter what, since I haven't seen her in forever. Then the new week will come with new perspective. Plus, I am listening to Saosin, "You're Not Alone." Now that I know the lead singer is Mormon, the song just got so much better, since he does get the deeper meaning behind what he is saying, or singing, I guess.
I am going to try and post a link to the song, since Alicia doesn't like when I write the lyrics, except she does know how this song goes :)
You're Not Alone You have to have quicktime, and it takes it a minute to come up and play... but it should work!


alirara said…
Yeah I am pretty much amazing. But I don't think you should steal my HOBO idea because then when I do it everyone will be like, "You are so unoriginal. You are just coping the crowd." Like people say to me about Harry Potter and that makes me want to punch them because I've been reading Harry Potter ever since it came out. I'm an origianl fan. Anyways and thank you for not writing out the lyrics.
Lil Renny said…
I am not a crowd. Don't call me fat! Besides, if I became a hobo, whenever I met anyone and they asked me why I was a hobo I would say, I stole the idea from my sister Alicia.
trentathon said…
that is a good song
Bukran said…
I'd still urge you to stay in Provo before a prestigious run in law school.
wilbur said…
noone updates their blog anymore.
*wink, wink*
*nudge, nudge*

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